My Health Journey

   In November of 2011 I came to desperate point.  I was 30 pounds overweight for someone my height.  I ate crap food and I was in pain a lot  of the time.  I drank soda, ate Taco Bell, chips, processed foods, lots and lots of carbs, I never got exercise, had horrible stomach issues, the joints in my knees hurt, confidence was shot, I was very depressed and heavily medicated for it, and then, gasp, my size 12 jeans seemed to no longer fit me.
I remember going to Other Mothers to get a new pair of jeans and was horrified when I tried on size 14 and the fit me, barely.  I cried in the dressing room.  This is what it had come to.  But I didn't change anything just then.  Another few weeks went by and I continued down the dangerous path I was on.  I had no respect for myself.
   Then came Thanksgiving day.  My husband and I were retiring for the night and I asked him if he found me attractive.  Now, for those of you who don't know my husband, he is the kindest man and would never hurt anyone if he could avoid it.  Also, when I ask a serious question, I expect an honest answer.  And he gave me an honest answer.  He told me no, he didn't find me attractive when I was treating myself so badly and consuming whatever I wanted when it was so obviously bad for me.  He was sad that I was harming myself by what I consumed.  He was sad for the effects it had on me, depression, low self-esteem, shame, etc.  It had caused a rift in our relationship, not just ours, but my kids too.  I didn't have the energy to keep up with them, and you need A LOT of energy to keep up with two toddlers!
   That night, I decided something, I wasn't going to continue down this path.  It was harming my relationships with others and myself.  Something had to change, and it did.

  The next day we drove to Prescott for Thanksgiving with Mark's family.  It was hard, but I controlled my portion sizes.  The day after was when things got serious.  I researched, a lot, on healthy eating.  I called my sister, who is in incredible shape, totally active, and eats extremely well.  Seriously, she's a gem.  She and my brother in law encouraged me, educated me, and advised me.  I also talked with my brother.  He had recently done a 10 day juice fast and lost a ton of weight and totally changed his eating habits.  They were healthy, and I needed them if I was going to do this.  Right away I eliminated processed foods, soda, and sugar.  for the first few weeks I didn't do any carbs/starches.  It was hard, but it got easier over time.  I slowly added carbs back in to my diet after a month, but stuck to whole grains only and didn't consume them after a certain point in the afternoon.  I was losing weight rapidly.  I dropped two pounds every week for the first month I would guess and after that one pound for the next few weeks, then it started to slow down a bit around April 2012.  It was March/April that I started adding more exercise.  Up until that point I had been walking every day for about an hour with the kids around our neighborhood.
   My sister, brother in law, and brother continued to encourage and advise me.  Seriously, they're my heroes, I wouldn't have been able to get this far without them, and God's grace of course, but that will come later.  They continue to hold me accountable today.
   You want an update?  Of course you do.  I went from 153lbs to 127lbs in 8 months.  I'm still not at my first goal weight (125), but darn it!  I'm close enough and I feel AMAZING.  I have no more depression, no more medication for that depression, no more self-esteem problems, no more guilt, and shame, no more aches and pains, no more stomach issues.  I'm happy, happier than I have ever been in my life.  I'm confident and I carry myself that way.  I'm incredibly proud of myself and the accomplishments I have achieved.  I am involved with a free online coach who is incredibly knowledgeable, helpful, and encouraging.  I am now encouraging others.  I have so much energy!  I walk the mall, 3 miles, three days a week.  I love it.  I work out to Slim in 6 (and God bless my husband, he does it with me), a beachbody product, it's hard, but I love it.  I can hike now!  I'm going to start kickboxing, and running the treadmill 2 days a week.  Mark and I play racquetball once a week.
   I'm currently involved in a biggest loser challenge with my online accountability group.  It's motivation for sure to lose those last few stubborn pounds.  If we gain or maintain weight, we have to pay up.  I'm determined to not give any money!  But I'm at a point now, where it's not so much about the number on the scale anymore, it's about how I feel.  And how I feel is amazingly healthy and fit.  Praise God who had brought me to this point, it was only by His amazing grace that I was brought out of that dark pit and raised up.  He has kept me going.  We were on a hike in Sedona and a friend asked me if I knew what the hiker's prayer was, my response, dear God help me.  He said, "Lord, you pick them up, and I'll put them back down again."  He was speaking of the lifting of the legs.  And I have found this to be so true.  The Lord has picked them up for any activity I have been involved in, He's not only picked them up but encouraged me so I got stronger and stronger each and every day.  He has now brought me to the point where I can ask myself when the urge for a Starbucks caramel macchiatto rears its ugly head at me, "How are you going to feel after that nice sugary, milky, caffeinated drink?  No good.  Then I think I'll skip it."  Or, when the urge for restaurant food hits me, "Are you going to be doubled over in pain by the end of the meal?  Yes, most likely, then, no thank you."  And this has only been very recent.  I'm making smarter decisions.  I'm concerned about how my body will react to certain foods and drinks and I choose to avoid them.  Not that I don't enjoy the occasional treat, because I certainly do!  But it's in moderation now, and usually only on the weekends (I get one or two splurge meals a week).  So again I say, praise God for His Spirit that ministers and works in us.  Praise Him indeed.
  (The picture above is the most recent, best example of how much I have lost.  Wish I had a better one, I'll try to get one up there.)